It's Summer time!

Alright, I'm back. Finally. All you 10-20 people who visit the site once every 4 months are in for a surprise. I've got 4 months off, well besides working a job, but I should have much more time to sit down and play some stuff and then subsequently review them on here. First on my list is The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena, I'm most looking forward to playing Butcher Bay again, it's been quite awhile since I last played it but I've heard it holds up quite nicely. I've heard mostly bad about the Dark Athena portions so stay tuned for that to see which way I sway in that debate.

Well, I don't have much more new material then that, basically this Summer I expect to get through Bionic Commando, Prototype, Ghostbusters, Batman: Arkham Asylum, there's probably many more I'm forgetting. Anyway keep your eyes peeled to here now and then, there will be updates again. Hoo-ray! Now shove off and go play some games, or enjoy the warm weather, whichever you choose you can't go wrong.

It's Hazard time!

Perhaps you've heard of this game, perhaps you haven't, I'm guessing this title went way under the radar for most, but fear not, this is not one of those cult underground hits you'll hear people talking about with a love/hate attitude like Killer 7 or Robot Alchemic Drive, this one is best left off the radar.

The story revolves around Matt Hazard, voiced by Will Arnett(Gob!) who's been in videogames since they first started, and this is supposed to be his next-gen debut. The reason he's returning is like some other videogame mascots his fame skyrocketed and his name started getting slapped to titles like Hazard Kart Racing, and an E rated 3rd-person shooter called Hazard's SoakEm! in which everyone is shooting squirt guns at one another. During his latest game in which he's trying to stage a comeback, someone writes a change at the end of the 1st level in which Hazard is to die and a new character is to be introduced and played, think of Metal Gear Solid 2, but another character QA steps in to help Hazard out. From here you play out the rest of the game that you're in while someone is programming old villains and characters from Hazard's past into the games as well.

The attempts at humor is the strongest selling point to this game, it makes a mockery of Duke Nukem style heroes of the past, you get an achievement for pausing the game called Taking A Break, and throughout the levels the past villains show up like zombies, Russians, the SoakEm squirt gun toting baddies (I believe the developers were going for a SOCOM reference), space marines, and even oldschool 2D Wolfenstein throwback enemies. You'll also meet characters like Master Chef, and a pipe using Italian by the name of Captain Carpenter. The bosses also play on games like a fight with a many tentacled Kraken that tried to feel like God of War, a stereotypical RPG boss that talks via text boxes and actually has to cast spells and attacks through a menu. I sat through the game mostly because of all of this, having been exposed to all of what they were trying to mock I found some of it humorous and was left wondering where they were taking me next in the game.

The game plays like your standard 3rd-person shooter with a cover system, a blind fire system, and one nifty innovation in where once you're in cover you can locate the next piece of cover, press the Y button and Hazard will move accordingly to that next piece of cover for you. Other than that everything about the game and how it plays feels average. The weapon selection was fine, the levels started off interesting as you'd be in a warehouse when all of a sudden a programmer started programming enemies and locations out of a Western game into the level, followed by Russians with AKs and some nuclear winter looking pieces of cover. If the game had kept with that idea one level could have really consisted of multiple, unfortunately the second level does that and from there on out the levels don't seem to change on-the-fly at all which leaves the locales feeling boring.

My only other complaint with the gameplay is that the aiming system was very slow, it felt like the controls during this were stuck in molasses and by the time I'd have a bead on someone he was either already leaving that area of cover or someone else had flanked me and was gunning me down. Also these enemies have perfect shots while running which is something that is impossible for the player to do, so many times an enemy would be charging full blast while charging a laser weapon and I'd think to myself "Oh there's no way he'll land the shot running that fast and having to aim, it just wouldn't happen.", to find that the enemy would land the shot right between my eyes and kill me in one hit.

The sound of the game was a mixed bag, Will Arnett had some good lines and one particular boss Sniperscope who comes back three times cracked me up a time or two with his over-the-top 80's Schwarzenegger attitude. The best part in the audio department was the music, I didn't catch a name for who did it, but it seemed to be like someone threw the guy a mix of some of the more catchier Final Fantasy battle themes and a disc with Dragonforce on it and told him to combine the two. I really dug it, for me that's saying a lot as the music for a game never really catches my attention, but it could also be said that I was so bored with the gameplay that maybe my mind had to wander to another area of the game to keep itself occupied and satisfied.

Overall this game had a good premise but just fell under the weight of it, during the credits roll at the very end it said "Matt Hazard will return...", I hate to break it to the developers but I seriously doubt anyone will green light another one of these games ever again. Also what was presented in this game seems to have already exhausted the idea and used up all it had to offer so I don't really know how much more they could come up with. In the end, I would neither recommend you buy this game or even rent it, maybe someone will throw up a best-of compilation with the best parts of the game and throw it up on YouTube, if that happens, take a look and have a chuckle or two.

Final Verdict: Thumbs Down

Can Resident Evil 5 claim the survival-horror throne?

Simply put, no, no it cannot.

I played the game solo with an AI controlling the chick so here's my grievances, they may differ from those playing with an actual person, but most of the problems will still plague the game. So let's get started. The control scheme is stuck 4 years in the past, with the amount of enemies constantly being thrown at you the control scheme just can't cut it, Capcom went the lazy route and decided not to take a look at games that had come out in the past 4 years and perhaps borrow some of their ideas that makes a character move more fluidly and feel more responsive.

Inventory management in real-time was a pain in the ass because the AI doesn't know how to mix herbs so her inventory gets clogged up very quick and sometimes I would pick up a new weapon and it wouldn't map it to one of the four quick d-pad slots so if it's a weapon you want to use quite a bit for the rest of the level you have to keep equipping it through the inventory screen until the level is done and you can map it to a quick slot.

Sheva's AI has two basic commands, one is to attack in which she runs right up to people and wastes all her ammo as quickly as possible, or cover in which she takes up whatever the weakest weapon in her inventory is and basically stands next to you watching you get your ass handed to you. Every now and then she'll take a swing with the cattle prod and miss or fire a few pistol rounds. With most of the bosses requiring some co-op thinking it becomes a chore and a pain to fight anything that isn't a standard enemy. Speaking of the standard enemies they have 2 basic AI settings, ones with guns obviously stay far away and now and then shoot some rounds off, and as a zombie would, the fire sputters every which way except for when they finally land one shot then all of a sudden their aim becomes crystal clear and they fire a couple round burst into you and knock you down to the ground. The zombies without weapons have three speeds, from far away they just stand there waiting to be sniped if you have the rifle already, at mid-range they hustle themselves to get up close and personal, and finally once reaching an up-close proximity they walk very slowly , I'm guessing because of the control limitations at hand. Capcom decided to give the players a fighting chance even though it seems they wanted zombies that were fast and frantic, like something we'd never seen before. Oh and a quick note the level design seen throughout the sparse 8-9 hours is as average as it gets, barring one chapter where you're on a boat(I'm on a boat! Take a good hard look at the motherf...)and can complete the level in the order you seem fit, the rest of the levels are straight Point A to Point B with hordes standing in your way, it gets old real quick.


Story wise the game takes the whole Raccoon City trilogy of games and the Umbrella name and turns what used to be campy and fun stories into an over the top and stupid one with terrible dialogue and one that finds itself going in the silliest of directions. I won't go further into the details, I'll let you be surprised by all the botching they do with the franchise lore.

It's a bummer to see this happen with Capcom, as of late their track record has been top-notch for a Japanese company, Dead Rising was fun, hopefully the sequel will address the main criticisms but who knows since it seems the American developer will be copying the formula but putting a different character in a different location, and Lost Planet was a refreshing new franchise and the sequel is looking to be shaping up nicely, and then of course Street Fighter IV dropped and was amazing, so it sucks to see the Resident Evil franchise hit the back burner when 4 was such a great game. This game greatly pales in comparison to Resident Evil 4.

As with my reviews, it comes down to whether to buy it, rent it, or pass, and I'm going to have to give this game a pass, but I've got good news for those looking for a fine 3rd person survival horror game, it's called Dead Space. Go play it, it's far superior to what Capcom took 4 years to deliver. Here's hoping the next Resident Evil game is a winner. Also of note, the man behind Resident Evil 4 Shinji Mikami is supposedly working with Suda 51 to bring a survival-horror game to the 360 and PS3 via EA, so look out for that, I think that should turn out to be very interesting.

Final Verdict: Thumbs Down

The drought has begun

I was browsing the release schedule for games and it's slim pickings until February. This month sees Skate 2 drop which should be as fun as the first, but I'm not sure if they've reinvented and kept it feeling completely refreshing. I'll have to give it a try, but here's hoping it does not go the route of the Tony Hawk franchise. Other than that I'm waiting until February for Street Fighter IV, the GTA IV DLC, and a DS game I've been particularly excited about called Retro Game Challenge. Those titles are still about a month away, so until then I'll be here twiddling my thumbs, actually I may review some titles from 2008 that I just didn't have the time to play. Perhaps if I were a legit insider of the game industry I'd have stories out the wazoo to fill the time until February.

Until next time....

2009 Is In Effect (The people that made those 2000-2009 specs must be pissed.)

Whoa it's 2009 and I failed at reviewing games because I did not play a whole lot but also because there were mountains of them coming at me. Whatever, the first half of 09 should be tame and I should be able to keep on top of all the games coming out, the next big title is Street Fighter IV and even that is still a month or so away, unless I'm forgetting of some other big game coming out in February, feel free to correct me. You can expect reviews and I think I'm also going to branch out and just post odd things that fly from the top of my head. So feel free to read those or pass on them. Here's to another great year of gaming!